I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize