I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
