I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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