ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
