hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
