so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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