well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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