dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i wish my penis had a tongue
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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