my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
