brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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