I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
