Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
