and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
