Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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