i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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