Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
