I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
