we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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