Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
