Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize