we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
