Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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