Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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