Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
