I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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