I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
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I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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