Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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