How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
