I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize