Did you just see the Batmobile???
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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