yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I checked into jail on foursquare
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
