You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
