I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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