woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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