Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
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You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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