When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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