I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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