watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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