Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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