some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
