yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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