i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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