I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
