Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
