The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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