How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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