BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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