Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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