So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
