I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
