remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
