He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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