I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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