the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize