so explain again why im purple
no
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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