no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
