Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
another moral hangover. fuck.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
