On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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