AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
