i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.