apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
