She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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