Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
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You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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