I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am puke
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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