have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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