Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm bleeding and have questions
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
