you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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