cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
