I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
