This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
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I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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